The Birthday of a Hall Monitor
by A Bird Of Many Flavours
Summary: In which Chihiro and Mondo throw Ishimaru a party and he is socially awkward. Like always.


**So this is a thing I made with Mickthetrick for Ishi's birthday because we're lame. The first part is her, and it's me after the xxxxx.**

**Neither of us own Dangan Ronpa.**

Kiyotaka hadn't expected anything special for his birthday; mostly because he had never gotten anything from his peers any other year. So when Chihiro had suggested they go on what he called a "birthday picnic", he was at a loss. Social nuances such as these had never been his strong suit. As he peddled his bike down to the park where this picnic was to be held, he was unsure of what to expect. Would there be cake? With candles? Would he have to wear a party hat? Surely Fujisaki-san couldn't expect him to wear such a thing in a public setting.

When he got to the park, it was 2:20, 10 minutes earlier than the set arrival time. He locked his bike and stood waiting next to a tree. Five minutes had passed, and Mondo and Chihiro were still nowhere to be seen. After 9 minutes he began to worry. When there was still no one there by 2:31, he was frantic. Maybe this was the wrong park. Maybe they said 3:30. Maybe Mondo had gotten in a terrible motorcycle accident on the way here. Maybe Chihiro was hit by a car leaving his house. Maybe this was all a joke, a setup to see if he was really stupid enough to show up. Who even had birthday picnics anyway?

As these thoughts raced through his mind he became more and more uneasy. Just as he was getting ready to leave, disgraced and alone, he heard the roar of a motorcycle's engine and a small voice pleading the driver to "wait up". Soon enough, he could see two figures, almost comically opposite in stature, advancing in the distance.

"Hey, Ishi-kun!" greeted Fujisaki. "Happy birthday! How... How long have you been standing here?"

"Approximately 20 minutes." A perplexed look appeared on the small boy's face.

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we said 2:30... I must have read your message wrong..."

"Yes, we did indeed agree to meet here at 2:30. The current time is 2:34." He smiled. "Ah, but don't worry! As this meeting was your idea, I am willing to forgive your tardiness!" Mondo rolled his eyes.

"How gracious of you. Anyhow, happy birthday, aniki." He reached out and placed a hand on Ishimaru's shoulder, but it was quickly smacked away.

"Aniki, please! Such public displays of affection are strictly prohibited!"

"Public display of... ? I barely even did anything!" He muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like "what a nerd", but Kiyotaka pretended not to hear it. Instead, he turned his attention back to Chihiro.

"So, Fujisaki-san! I understand that you have acquired provisions!"

"Uh, yeah. You've never been on a picnic before, have you Kiyotaka?" His face flushed a deep pink. Was it really so obvious? He was ashamed at his lack of preparation. He really ought to have studied this... Chihiro smiled.

"It's all right. Everyone has to start somewhere, right? We just have to find a good spot..." He looked around.

xxxxx

"Aha! How about there?" He pointed at a spot underneath a large oak tree. Kiyotaka had a look of shock on his face."Fujisaki-San, you can't be serious! Falling acorns could pose a serious health risk!" He couldn't believe that Fujikaki had ignored such obvious danger. Mondo had an exasperated look on his face. "Aniki, you're way too uptight! It's your birthday, so calm down". Kiyotaka looked scandalized, "Calm down? Are you suggesting that I should..." His face was distorted in pure horror, "ignore my duties as a hall monitor?" Chihiro winced, knowing that this discussion was not headed anywhere good. "Okay, let's find a place to eat!" He said, trying desperately to change the subject, "umm... How about on that hill over there?" Kiyotaka barely suppressed the urge to scream. "Fujisaki-San! Are you out of your mind? The risk of falling..." Mondo cut him off. "Aniki, you REALLY need to get out more". Chihiro was beginning to panic, so he gave up and said, "Fine, why don't we just eat right over there?" pointing to a flat, treeless spot in the middle of the park. Kiyotaka considered the suggestion, performed a thorough environment check, and reached his final conclusion; "Yes, that is acceptable".

The blanket and food were spread out, and everything was going fine, until the cake was brought out. Kiyotaka was, at first, ecstatic; as previously mentioned, he had never received anything from his peers before, and was not expecting anything now. However, his reaction changed significantly when he saw what was on the cake. "Are those... candles?" He asked in terror. Mondo sighed. "Yes, they are". Kiyotaka was aghast. "Are you... Are you planning to... Light them?" In response, Mondo reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a lighter. Before Kiyotaka could have another episode, Chihiro grabbed Mondo's lighter and quickly said "Alright, no candles". Mondo was about to say something to Chihiro about touching his stuff, but upon seeing Kiyotaka's face, he decided it was probably for the best.

They ate the (unlit) cake, Kiyotaka enthusiastically praising Chihiro's baking ability, Mondo silently hoping none of his other friends were nearby. Chihiro excused himself to go to the bathroom, and walked off. That's when everything went downhill. Mondo heard the familiar sound of a motorcycle, and looked over towards the road to see the last thing he wanted to see; Ryota Takeshi, the leader of a rival gang. Mondo was sweating bullets. "Please don't let him see me please don't let him see me" he thought desperately to himself. He saw him. Takeshi walked over to Mondo and Kiyotaka, who was blissfully unaware of who the man was. "Oowada-Kun!" Takeshi said in mock friendliness, "it's been so long!" Mondo gritted his teeth. "Hello, Takeshi". Takeshi laughed, "who's this, Oowada? A new friend?" At this point, Kiyotaka was getting the vague idea that this man was mocking Mondo. He stood up, wanting to defend his friend, but, not being sure of the nature of this confrontation, was unable to do so. After a few seconds of his stare-off with Kiyotaka, Takeshi laughed again. "Gee, Oowada, there somethin' wrong with this guy?" Chuckling to himself, he shoved Kiyotaka to the ground.

On seeing that, Mondo jumped to his feet and walked up to Takeshi. "You don't want to be messin' with this guy". Takeshi laughed again, "What, is he gonna hurt me?" Mondo smirked. "Not him," he said, and he delivered a strong punch directly between the other man's eyes, knocking him out in a single blow. Kiyotaka's eyes were wide. "Oowada-Kun... Violence is not a proper way to solve problems! Apologize to him at once!" Mondo rolled his eyes. "Aniki, you're an idiot, you know?" Kiyotaka looked confused, so Mondo gave up on trying to make him see reason. "Whatever. Happy birthday, Aniki".

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